![]() Wilson: You're just mad because he's closer to a Nobel Prize than you are. House: Every minute that we refuse to love one another, another puppy cries another tear. ![]() House: I can't remember how to do Walk the Dog.ĭr. why don't you go wrack yourself with guilt in your own room?ĭr. Do you send notes to the families in the morning? That's gonna take at least ten minutes, so that's another forty dead, another forty notes. I guess you gotta get some sleep, but come on, if you'd stayed up another ten minutes you could have saved forty lives. Seriously, let's say you sleep six hours, that means every night you kill 1440 people. House: Wow, how can you sleep at night? Sebastian: There's people dying in Africa of a disease that we cured over. TB or Not TB Sebastian: Every minute four people die of TB. If you're right and we end up back in the jungle, it won't be on your head. We'll civilize the heathens.' Stop doing us favours. 'Negro can't take care of themselves, so we'll put them to work. Sorry, African-Americans.įoreman: Every slavemaster thought they were doing the black man a favour. Admittedly, it's a limited sample, but based on my experience in the last ninety seconds all black people are morons. House: You know, I have found a difference. And it don't make no sense to give us different drugs. House: It's racist because it helps black people more than white people? Well, on behalf of my peeps, let me say, thanks for dying on principle for us. Patient: I'm not buying into no racist drug, okay? Dr. House: 20 bucks says I can get through this door in 20 seconds. House: Do I get bonus points if I act like I care? House: Is it still illegal to perform an autopsy on a living person? Dr. ![]() ![]() Angio her brain, before this clot straps on an explosive vest.ĭr. Foreman: Whoa, are you trying to say that the tumor threw a clot before we removed it? Dr. Does that need any more explanation? Okay, the tumor is Al-Qaeda, the big bad guy, the brain who went in wiped it out, but it had already sent out a splinter cell, a small team of low-level terrorists, quietly living in the suburb Buffalo, waiting to kill us all. House: The tumor is Afghanistan, the clot is Buffalo. Chase: They tend to keep quiet on account of them not having any mouths.ĭr. House: If her DNA was off by one percentage point, she'd be a dolphin.ĭr. Foreman: Her oxygen saturation is normal. House: Boy, you must be a doctor and everything.ĭr. House: You know how people say, "you can't live without love"? Well, oxygen is even more important. House: Relax, I've got a great bedside manner. Warden: Your patient shanked one inmate his first month here, broke another one's neck, nearly decapitated one of my guards. What about you? What medical care should you be denied for being a car thief? Tell you what: the three of you work out a list of what medical treatments a person loses based on the crime they committed. Maybe he can get antibiotics, but no MRIs. House: What about a child molester? Certainly not a good guy, but he didn't kill anybody. What makes a person deserving? Is a man who cheats on his wife more deserving than a man who kills his wife? Foreman: Uh yeah. Foreman: Aren't there better ways to spend our time? House: Good question. House: Well, I don't want to say anything bad about another doctor, especially a useless drunk. Cuddy: You stole my password? House: Hardly counts as stealing it's a pretty obvious choice. Cuddy: How do you even know about him? You don't have access to the hospital's mainframe.
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